What’s happening in the world today lovers? I feel like there’s a state of emergency in relationships. Men and women are in a constant battle with what to expect from one another based on societal roles. People aren’t genuinely looking for love. They like the “idea” of what a man or woman is capable of doing for them. I’m for the traditional gender role but, it has to be earned. Being a young, independent woman I never asked a man to contribute to my lifestyle yet, I’m often bombarded with questions like, “Tiy, when are you going to cook for me?” Automatically, I feel taken advantage of. It would be nice if the person you meet actually add to your life -not take away from it!
We tend to blame others for our actions. Most people put their “walls up” due to past relationships. Then it becomes difficult for them to move forward with a new relationship since, no effort is being put into knocking those previous walls down. I suspect that both sides fear showing vulnerability. The truth is -both sides are afraid to completely let the other in. Our culture is drifting away from the ability to form loving and healthy relationships. My experience with relationships has developed my standards. I learn not to share my emotions with a lover who has unmatched energy.
I suggest if you’re seeking a relationship that you become friends before taking that next step into a relationship and realizing you wasn’t ready after all. Men and women should embrace and complete each other not, fear and compete against one another. Be you, that’s the first clue in Black Love.
Watch my conversation with NYC photographer IKE Love about dating, sex, and the war between black lovers !
-T.he I.nner Y.ou